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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23353906">A Starry Night</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalElegy/pseuds/EternalElegy'>EternalElegy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:13:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,541</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23353906</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalElegy/pseuds/EternalElegy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Not all Starry Night endings are happy. (Currently discontinued)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hokuto Hidaka/Subaru Akehoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello, readers.<br/>This story will be used as a testing grounds for a new story format that I thought up of. Instead of just writing things out, you as the readers will be given more insight into what Hokuto is thinking, and what choices he thinks he has for certain decisions, kind of like playing a RPG where the decisions you make influence what happens in the story. As such, feedback on this aspect of the work would be greatly appreciated.<br/>Since this is my first time writing for Ensemble Stars, feedback on how I have portrayed the characters (especially anyone that is not Hokuto) would be appreciated.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hokke, I’m here!” Hokuto had gotten tired of standing around, his stress levels already skyrocketing even though he was the one who came early, and it wasn’t that Subaru was late. He was bright and energetic as always, an eager smile on his face. “Why did you call me out here to the cherry blossom tree? Was there something that you needed to tell me?”<br/>Hokuto took a deep breath, trying to stop his heart from pounding so violently in his chest. “Akehoshi.” He starts.</p><p> </p><p>&gt; Get to the point<br/>&gt;&gt; Ask about his day</p><p> </p><p>“So, how was class today?” Hokuto almost blurts out, unable to control his nervousness, intending to start with some small talk in order to try and make the transition to the serious stuff better. Totally not smooth.<br/>“Eh? We’re in the same class, we did the same things together.”<br/>“N-no, I mean… how did you find the content?”<br/>“I actually paid attention in class this time! Well… the maths was a bit hard, but I’m sure that I can get it when I study at home!”<br/>“Make sure you actually do the study, otherwise you’ll fall behind and then I have to help you catch up.”<br/>“Mhm!” Subaru nodded diligently. </p><p>An awkward silence. Hokuto noticed that his hands were becoming clammy.<br/>“Did you talk to a lot of people on the way here?” Hokuto did his best to try and pick up the pace of the conversation again.<br/>“Yeah! I bumped into Nazuna while he was on the way to meet with the rest of Ra*bits, and Shinkai-senpai congratulated me as well, though he kind of scared me by coming out of the fountain…” Subaru acted out the way that Kanata caught his attention. “He asked if I wanted to float with him but I said that I had to meet with you. A lot of other people congratulated me too, but I had to run past them because I wanted to see you and not be late since it seemed like this was pretty urgent… What did you want to talk to me about?” Subaru was animated as usual throughout his response.</p><p> </p><p>&gt; Get to the point<br/>&gt;&gt; Talk about job opportunities</p><p> </p><p>“I wanted to talk to you about job opportunities. We’ve received a lot of requests since we’ve just won the SS. While I think that it’s important that we continue to get our name out there since we’re still a fairly new unit to the idol world, I’d like to be able to have an adequate break since we’ve been busy up until the SS. What do you think?”<br/>“Hmm… I kind of want a break, I’m tired and want to sleep all day…”<br/>“You can’t just do that, Akehoshi. Your body will deteriorate and then you’ll have to work harder to be able to get back into shape. Don’t eat too much junk food and make sure to do some light exercise everyday.”<br/>“You’re not my mum, Hokke…” Subaru whined. “If that’s what you wanted to talk about, why didn’t you call Sari and Ukki here? The work involves all of us as Trickstar, right?”</p><p>Hokuto thought that he’d be more used to pressure by now, having successfully performed on a national stage, but it turned out that this situation was turning his brain into cabbage much more than SS was, even though there were a million people watching and just as many cameras circling.</p><p>“... Right, I was going to talk to them today too, but they were all busy. Isara had to go to the student council office for something, and Yuuki… ah, he said that he needed to go to a broadcasting committee meeting.” Hokuto internally breathed a sigh of relief knowing that the two of them had legitimate reasons that they were not available at this time.<br/>“Then wouldn’t it be better if everyone was here? So you don’t have to go into the trouble of telling everyone one by one?” Subaru was puzzled.<br/>“That’s true… I was in such a hurry to discuss this with you that…” Hokuto’s brain stopped working momentarily.<br/>“We’re all pretty tired from SS, why don’t we just take a break?”<br/>“I will see what Isara and Yuuki think of this before I turn down the jobs.” </p><p>“Um… It’s not like you to not gather everyone when it’s about Trickstar. Are you okay?” Subaru leaned forward, probably to get a better view at Hokuto’s face, but he was so surprised that he flinched, even though they had plenty of physical contact before.<br/>“I-I’m fine. I’m just-”<br/>“Are you hiding something, Hokke? You should at least tell me, so that we can work through it together!”</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt; Get to the point<br/>&gt; Find an excuse to leave<br/>&gt; Apologise<br/>&gt; Offer Akehoshi a 10 yen coin</p><p> </p><p>It’s now or never, Hokuto thought.</p><p>“... Subaru.”<br/>“Ah! Why did you call me by my first name?”<br/>“I like you.” </p><p>Subaru stared at Hokuto blankly.<br/>“... Huh?” The leader of Trickstar had already funnelled all of his mental energy into saying that one line, and now he had to do it again because Subaru was a dumbass?<br/>“I said I like you!”<br/>“Oh! I like you too! You’re an amazing friend and we’ve done so much together-”<br/>“No, that’s not what I mean!” Hokuto blushed hard, drowning in so much embarrassment that he couldn’t bring himself to look at Subaru.<br/>“Then… what did you mean?” Holy shit, this was exasperating.<br/>“I mean I love you! … In a romantic way.”</p><p>Hokuto’s eyes were glued to the floor, but when he realised that Subaru hadn’t responded yet, he met his tear-filled gaze.<br/>“Akehoshi? Are you-”<br/>“I… I love you too… Hokuto…” Subaru couldn’t stop himself from crying as he went for a hug. He moved so quickly that Hokuto almost fell over from the impact, but right after he regained his balance he returned it. His heart still pounded away, his mind not having caught up to reality quite yet, but when it did, he returned the hug as tightly as he could.<br/>“I love you, Hokuto.”<br/>“I know, you already said it. You don’t need to say it again.” </p><p>Hokuto wanted to be in this embrace forever, and ever, and ever.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> In the cafeteria… </em>
</p><p>“Hello, everyone. Thanks for gathering here today.” Hokuto started, scanning his eyes across the table to make sure that he had everyone’s attention. Subaru was looking at him with his usually bright expression, but even though nothing about it much had changed, suddenly it was a lot more radiant and Hokuto had to put in some willpower to tear his eyes away from that gaze to look at Makoto, Mao and Anzu. “Thank you especially, Anzu, for making time in your busy schedule to meet with us.” <br/>“It’s no problem! I’m glad to be able to be able to sit down with you guys together again.” She replied in a bubbly voice, a notepad and pen in her hand. </p><p>Mao and Makoto gave nods of approval, to show that they were listening.<br/>“Okay, I’ll get right down to it. Our popularity has obviously risen quite a bit because of our victory at SS, and because of it, there have been a lot of requests for us. We’re still fairly new, so getting our name out there would be good and plus we can earn some money. However, we’ve all worked hard for SS and I think that a break would be good for us too.”</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt; Ask for everyone’s opinion<br/>&gt; Ask for Akehoshi’s opinion<br/>&gt; Ask for Yuuki’s opinion<br/>&gt; Ask for Isara’s opinion<br/>&gt; Ask for Anzu’s opinion</p><p> </p><p>“What do you guys all think?” Hokuto decided to leave the discussion in the hands of the rest of his unit.<br/>“I really want a break, we worked our butts off for SS!” Subaru perked up immediately. <br/>“I think so too…” Makoto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “All of us went under so much stress to make that SS win happen.” <br/>“Yeah, I agree.” Mao commented. “I can understand that doing jobs would be super good for us, but I don’t want us to burn out.” </p><p>At this, Hokuto turned to Anzu. “What do you think, Anzu? You’re our producer, so naturally we should follow whatever advice you give us.” <br/>“Hmm… You have a good point in that jobs will really help with your popularity. How urgent are the jobs? You might be able to discuss something with those requesting Trickstar, after all, you’re the ones bringing them money too. What you can do is talk to them all and see if they’re flexible, you can take up whoever is flexible and turn down whoever is not. If you explain to them that Trickstar requires a break, I’m sure that they’ll be understanding. Ultimately it’s up to you guys, though. You can’t keep them waiting for too long so if you accept anything, your break will be shorter.” <br/>“Thank you for your input-” <br/>“Actually, I can help discuss things with them, so that you guys can focus on resting.” Anzu suggested.</p><p> </p><p>&gt; Take up Anzu’s offer<br/>&gt;&gt; Decline</p><p> </p><p>“No, Anzu. I can handle it. You’re already doing so much for others as well and I don’t want you to overwork yourself.” Hokuto replied. <br/>“This is good practice for me, I already have some practice with emails I write to the teachers and the student council, but talking to real companies is a whole different experience.” <br/>“Haven’t you already done a lot of that, though?” <br/>“Well… yes, but...” Anzu broke eye contact, staring down at her notebook. <br/>“Anzu, if you’re doing this because you care about us, please consider your own wellbeing first. We really care about you and the last thing we all want to see is you collapsing from all of the work.”</p><p>“Yeah, Hokke’s right!” Subaru butted in. “You’re our best friend, and there’s no way we want to see you in bad shape!”<br/>“Well, you can’t really be the reliable producer everyone sees you as if you burn out, right?” Makoto added. <br/>“If you don’t take care of yourself, things get really bad because you have to spend heaps of time to recover, you know.” Mao commented. “Think about it this way, if you take this job and then collapse, what about all of the other work that you were supposed to do?” </p><p>Anzu sighed. “Alright then. I’ll let you guys handle this one.”<br/>“Good choice.” Hokuto crossed his arms and smiled, satisfied with the outcome. <br/>“Promise me you’ll let me know if things become too much?” Anzu was just as concerned about Hokuto as he was concerned about her. <br/>“Hey, it’s not like Hokuto will be doing everything. I might have student council work to do, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t do other things too. Plus, I’m sure everyone else here could do their part too.” Mao attempted to comfort the transfer student, and from the way she smiled, it seemed to have worked. <br/>“Yay! Does that mean that we can talk about other things now?” Subaru was eager to move on, though Hokuto thought that he was a bit too eager. He decided not to act on it, however, as there was nothing more that he needed to talk about anyway.</p><p>They ate and talked happily, reminiscing about the early days of the revolution, when they hadn’t gained national popularity.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Lunch passed much faster than everyone would have wanted. Mao was in a different class so he did not walk with Hokuto, Subaru and Makoto.</p><p> </p><p>&gt; Talk to Akehoshi privately<br/>&gt; Go to class</p><p><br/>“Eh? Hokke, what are you thinking about?” Subaru asked as Hokuto stopped walking. This attracted Makoto’s attention too.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt; Talk to Akehoshi privately<br/>&gt; Go to class</p><p> </p><p>“Akehoshi, I need to talk to you about something privately. Yuuki, you can go on ahead, we’ll catch up.” Hokuto announced.<br/>“As long as you come in before Sagami-sensei, you should be fine, I’ll see you there!” Makoto left, and Hokuto motioned for Subaru to follow him. They eventually arrived at a spot where no student could hear nor see them.</p><p>Telling Subaru about this earlier rather than later was going to be worth being late to class.<br/>“Hokke, why are we so far away from everyone?” <br/>“I forgot to tell you this before, but… we need to keep our feelings for each other a secret.” <br/>“... Eh?” <br/>“We’re both idols. It’ll cause way too much trouble for anyone to know about what is happening between us.” <br/>“Even from Sari and Ukki?” <br/>“Yes. As much as I trust them as fellow members of Trickstar… I can’t trust them with this. I don’t want them to ever have to blame themselves if anything happens because word gets out.” </p><p>“Eh? But they’re our friends, don’t they deserve to know?” Subaru pouted.<br/>“I’m… I’m protecting them, Akehoshi. If our relationship becomes public and we get negatively affected, I don’t want anyone else to get hurt.”</p><p>“... Okay. I’ll try.” Subaru hung his head a little. </p><p> </p><p>&gt; Give a quick hug<br/>&gt; Go back to class</p><p> </p><p>&gt; Give a quick hug<br/>&gt; Go back to class</p><p> </p><p>Hokuto wanted to comfort Subaru in some way, to assure him that he still loved him even if he had to hide it, but nervousness got the better of him and the opportunity passed before he could muster up the courage to do anything.<br/>“Let’s go back to class now, I hope we’re not late.” Hokuto said hurriedly, breaking into a jog, with Subaru following behind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hokuto finally arrived home after school, feeling a little empty that there wouldn’t be practice or much work to do at all since he had responded to all of the job requests and was waiting for a reply. Now that he had so much free time, he wondered what he should do...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His phone buzzed. Hokuto sighed. Perhaps Anzu was sending a text to update him about something that came up, or just to check up on him, or maybe to let him know that she had arrived home safely (Mao had walked her home)... as he opened his phone, it turned out he was horribly wrong. It was a text from Subaru, asking if he had some time to call, accompanied with a cute dog emoji that had a strong resemblance to Daikichi. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Hokuto hadn’t been in love with his classmate, he would have given a quick “why” and headed straight to the shower, expecting to be spammed with messages about why he was so cold about calling over the phone, and then why he was taking so long to reply.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>H: Yes, I can talk. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>S: ok!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto sat down on a couch, becoming increasingly impatient as the call didn’t come for some time, even though only ten seconds lapsed between Subaru’s final text and the phone ringing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello?” Hokuto started as he picked up the phone.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hey, Hokke!” Subaru’s cheerful voice greeted him. Hokuto’s heart melted a little at the sound of that voice. Even though he had heard it sing, laugh and talk over the past year, he couldn’t shake that small feeling of satisfaction upon hearing it.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hey, Akehoshi.” Hokuto found a small smile on his face as he spoke the name.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“We’re having a private conversation now, you don’t need to call me by my last name, you know.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Sorry. It’s a bit of a habit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Old habits die hard, huh?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto heard a bark from the other end of the phone, and then a soft laugh from Subaru. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Ah, sorry about that, Daikichi wanted to play but I wanna talk to you so I just threw one of his toys across the room.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I hope you didn’t break anything.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Everything’s fine! Daikichi won’t be bothering me for some time so I can talk as much as I want!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>&gt; Ask about Akehoshi’s day</span><span><br/></span> <span>&gt; Talk about the other members of Trickstar</span><span><br/></span> <span>&gt;&gt; Talk about work</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, about the jobs… I’ve sent out the emails earlier today regarding them, so I’m just waiting for replies at the moment. Most of them are interviews and photoshoots, some of them want us to talk on radio and-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Why do you always have to talk about work, Hokke?” Subaru whined. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I don’t always talk about work, I can talk about other things too.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah, but every time there’s work you always start talking about work first!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a pause on the other end of the line. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“... Hokke?” Subaru spoke in a softer voice. Hokuto instantly panicked, thinking that he had made a big mistake.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What is it?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Can we… um… I want to talk to you, Hokke.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But you are?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I mean, like the Hokke Hokke, not the leader of Trickstar Hokke! I just want to be able to talk to you like regular high schoolers talk to each other. That’s… that’s okay, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>&gt; Give reassurance</span><span><br/></span> <span>&gt;&gt; Talk about reality </span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll… I’ll do my best.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Why do you sound sad?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Because… in the future, we’re only going to be more busy, and our time for privacy will diminish.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Wait… are you already saying that we can’t-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No! I love you!” Hokuto had to pause, realising what he just blurted out. Subaru was silent on the other side of the line as he regained his composure. “... I’m just stating the reality of things, but that doesn’t mean that we can cherish all the time that we get for just the two of us.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That means that you’ll try to talk less about work when we’re together like this, right?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Subaru went silent again and it was making Hokuto awfully anxious. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>&gt; Attempt to comfort Akehoshi</span><span><br/></span> <span>&gt;&gt; Ask what Akehoshi is feeling</span><span><br/></span> <span>&gt; Wait for a response</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ake- Subaru, is everything okay?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... Yeah. I’m… just a little overwhelmed right now.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Did I say something wrong?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“N-no, it’s… you said you loved me and I feel that strange tightness in my chest again, it’s almost like I’m so happy that I can’t breathe.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... Same.” Hokuto could feel a smile form on his face. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hokke?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Can you say it again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Hokuto wasn’t blushing before, he was now. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... No.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Why not?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I spent all that effort saying it and it’s not fair if I’m the only one doing it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Fine then!” Another pause, Subaru was probably mentally preparing himself. “I love you, Hokke!” It wasn’t as magical as when he said it under the cherry blossom tree, where everything was full of raw emotion, but Subaru’s happiness and enthusiasm was contagious. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I love you too.” Hokuto replied immediately without thinking, because it felt natural, and just saying the words felt so natural somehow even though their relationship was only a few days old (he had definitely not been preparing for his confession by reciting it). Right now, he sorely wished that they were there together in person, so that he could see Subaru’s reaction to it, or even just to give him a hug because he was really craving his warmth now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I come over?” Subaru asked suddenly. Hokuto took some time to process the request, refusing to believe for a second that his mind had been read.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... Huh?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Your parents won’t mind, right?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What about yours?” Hokuto countered Subaru’s question with one of his own.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’ll just tell my mum that we’re doing idol stuff and she’ll let me.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Well… my parents come home pretty late anyway and I’m sure that father would be pleased to hear that you visited… are you telling me that you’re willing to run all the way here just to see me?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah, what else am I going to do? Sit at home and sulk about being alone?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But you’re calling me right now. Doesn’t that count as company?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But what if I just wanna visit my boyfriend~?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It felt like an arrow went straight through Hokuto’s heart.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Well… I suppose that I can’t stop you from coming over.” He sighed.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Whaaat? I thought you would have wanted me to visit!”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I mean, yes, I do…” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Okay! I’ll see you in a bit!” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Don’t push yourself-” Hokuto tried, but Subaru had already hung up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto thought he knew roughly how much stamina and speed Subaru had from their fitness exercises together with the rest of Trickstar, but he had severely underestimated the power of love and how that somehow allowed Subaru to exceed his physical limits. The orange-haired male turned up in record time, albeit breathless and sweat visible on his forehead. He had changed out of his uniform and into a white T shirt, orange jacket and navy pants, and Hokuto immediately wondered what his secret was changing that quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That was fast.” Hokuto greeted with a flat tone.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Aww, you’re not impressed? I tried so hard to get here as fast as I could!” Subaru managed in between pants. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was just about to tell you not to go too hard but you hung up on me.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah, but I wanted to see you sooner!”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... Fine, just come inside before you get a cold with all of that sweat.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Subaru beelined straight to the couch after taking off his shoes, his exhaustion doing most of the talking, but Hokuto already anticipated this, blocking his way.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“At least do a cool down after running that much.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But I just wanna sit down…” Subaru whined.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No, you need to take care of your body.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’re not my mum! Or Anzu!”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What does Anzu have to do with this?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“She’s always instructing us when it comes to exercise…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m basically echoing her advice and she always wants the best for us, just like I want the best for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re so cute, you know.” Suddenly the mood changed completely as Subaru spoke in an uncharacteristically soft voice, and Hokuto realised how close Subaru was standing to him as he looked into his big bright blue eyes. Hokuto was completely caught off guard, not knowing how to react, but when he finally came to his senses again, Subaru was grinning.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“W-what was that for? Are you trying to mess with me?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yahoo! Success!” The orange-haired idol jumped, pumping a fist into the air. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hey! Answer my question!”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Why would I be messing with you? We’re lovers, right? I just wanted to see your reaction.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto still wasn’t quite used to the notion of being in a relationship yet, and he couldn’t help but divert his eyes in embarrassment. “Well…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>&gt;&gt; Compliment</span><span><br/></span> <span>&gt; Hug</span><span><br/></span> <span>&gt; Kiss</span></p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <span>“You’re… you’re cute too…” Now it was Subaru’s turn to blush and look elsewhere. Hokuto swore that his heart stopped at that reaction, but before he could do anything else, Subaru was already embracing him, and he couldn’t help but return it. He was warm, so warm after all of that physical exercise, and despite all of the sweat, Hokuto wanted to enjoy this moment for as long as possible. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... Hokke?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What is it?”</span>
  <span></span>
    <br/>
  
  <span>“Can you put your hands on my neck? I’m still really hot from all the running and your cold hands can help me cool down.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Can’t you read the mood? Stupid Akehoshi.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Finally, the members of Trickstar are finished for the day, and Subaru yawned the biggest yawn that Hokuto has ever seen. They had been through a day of photoshoots, interviews and radio talks, and it was already dark by the time they left the last venue.<br/>“We are holding a feedback session before we all go home today.” Hokuto suddenly announced. <br/>“Um… Hidaka… isn’t it a better idea to take a break? We’re all tired from today…” Makoto suggested, but the leader of Trickstar wasn’t having it. <br/>“No, we are doing this now while it is all fresh in our minds.” Hokuto shot a glare at Subaru, who looked like he could fall asleep at any moment. <br/>“Ehh… what is it, Hokke… why are you so angry?” Subaru’s eyes were half open. </p><p>“Hokuto, you should probably calm down first…” Mao tried his best to improve the situation.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt; Insist on holding the meeting<br/>&gt; Call off the meeting</p><p> </p><p>“I will be calm after we discuss today’s events.” Hokuto replied, as if he was about to explode and he was barely holding himself back. Subaru was too tired to comprehend the situation but Mao and Makoto were already mentally bracing themselves. As much as they wanted to try and dampen the mood, they had no idea what to say that wasn’t going to result in pushing Hokuto over the edge.<br/>“Let’s go to that nearby park.” Hokuto suggested, hastily walking over, with the rest of his unit following.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Fortunately the park was empty, as Trickstar stood in a circle on a patch of grass. There were a few moments of tense silence as Hokuto made eye contact with each of his unit’s members, giving Subaru the fiercest gaze. Makoto and Mao nervously nodded to show that they were ready to listen, but Subaru was nodding off, leaning onto Makoto for balance. He yawned yet again.<br/>“Hokke… can we just go home?”</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt; Tell off Akehoshi<br/>&gt; Ask Akehoshi why he’s so tired<br/>&gt; Give feedback to Yuuki and Isara</p><p> </p><p>“Akehoshi! First you didn’t listen to instructions properly from the crew, and then you almost talked about private details live on radio and yawned multiple times, and then you spilt water all over yourself while waiting for your turn at the photoshoot! You’re lucky Anzu was here and she had a spare shirt, but what if we didn’t have such a reliable producer? All of Japan’s eyes are on us now that we’ve won SS, you have to take better care of yourself!” Hokuto was almost shouting and the sudden loud volume jolted Subaru out of his half-asleep state. He paused to think about what to say next. “We’ve been through this kind of work before, so you have absolutely no excuses to be making mistakes like these, plus if you had just gotten more sleep, we wouldn’t be having this discussion in the first place!”</p><p>Subaru looked at Hokuto with sad eyes. “Hokke-”<br/>“Luckily the rest of us are fine and we could cover for your mistakes, otherwise you could have screwed over Trickstar! You can’t just go on and on so much about our private lives, you’re supposed to have tight control over that information! You even almost mentioned-” Hokuto stopped himself, taking a deep breath. He almost just revealed his relationship with Subaru to Mao and Makoto, but now that he was in this position, he gave himself a moment to slow down his thinking. </p><p> </p><p>&gt; Apologise to Akehoshi<br/>&gt;&gt; Give feedback to Yuuki and Isara</p><p> </p><p>“... Yuuki, you did well in front of the cameras today. You still looked a little stiff, but I think you’ll look very photogenic after some more practice.” Hokuto turned to Makoto.<br/>“A-ah, thank you, Hidaka-kun. I’ll keep on working hard!” Makoto responded positively, but he was still a bit nervous from Hokuto’s earlier outburst. Mao on the other hand seemed to have relaxed a fair amount from the way the leader of Trickstar made the atmosphere a little more warm. <br/>“Isara, good work as always. I think we could all use some more practice for interviews so don’t worry about your mistakes too much.” Hokuto turned to Mao. <br/>“Hmm… I’d like to help organise that but I got some student council work coming up…” Mao rubbed the back of his head. <br/>“That’s alright, I can talk to Anzu about our next plan of action regarding it.” </p><p> </p><p>&gt; Apologise to Akehoshi<br/>&gt;&gt; End the meeting</p><p> </p><p>“Does anyone else have anything they’d like to say?” Hokuto asked.<br/>“Not really, good work, everyone.” Mao spoke. <br/>“U-uh, can I get longer breaks after photo shoots? I think it would be good for me to have more time to recover afterwards…” Makoto asked. <br/>“We have already planned out the schedule for the next few days so unfortunately there’s not much wriggle room, but I’ll ask Anzu about it. Thank you for bringing it up.” <br/>“It’s no problem, thanks everyone for the good work today!”</p><p>All eyes turned to Subaru, who stayed quiet. <br/>“Alright, it’s getting late so we shouldn’t stay around for too much longer. Is everyone okay getting home? I’ll be taking Anzu home today.” Hokuto ended the meeting. <br/>“Yeah, I’m good to go.” Mao smiled. <br/>“I’ll be okay, I’m getting picked up from the station.” Makoto commented. Subaru only nodded. <br/>“I’ll go back to the venue to check if Anzu’s finished with everything. You guys can go ahead without me if I take too long.” Hokuto said. <br/>“Are you sure, Hokuto?” Mao asked. <br/>“I’ll do my best to keep you guys updated on the situation. That should conclude our meeting.”</p><p> </p><p>As Hokuto and the rest of Trickstar went separate ways, Subaru didn’t meet Hokuto’s eyes as he waved goodbye.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>A few hours later, Hokuto was finally ready to go to bed. Anzu had quite a lot of work to go through so he had asked for the rest of Trickstar to head home first while he escorted her home. There was conversation about the rest of the week, as well as the usual “take care of yourself” before they had arrived at her house. After that was a walk home alone with his thoughts, and then a shower, dinner, revising tomorrow’s schedule, and then sleep. Just as his head was about to hit the pillow, his phone buzzed. Hokuto initially thought that it was going to be some message from Anzu about a last minute change of plans, but… it was Subaru. And it was an uncharacteristically long text message.</p><p>S: hey hokke, i’m sorry for underperforming today. i hope you’ll forgive me, please don’t be angry at me anymore. i know that you usually get angry at me a lot for messing up and then everything somehow works out again and we’re all happy and friends but this time it stung a bit because we’re together and i didn’t want to let you down. i’m sorry for what happened today. <br/>the truth is, i was up late last night because I was trying out this stargazing spot I found! i really want to go stargazing with you someday and I lost track of time, and then when i got back home i was so excited i couldn’t sleep… i read that it’s best to go this Thursday night! Can we go? Pretty please? We can even have dinner together beforehand! <br/><br/>Hokuto didn’t know how to feel. On one hand, it was valuable time that he could spend with Subaru and this kind of event did not come often. On the other hand… as much as the schedule on Friday was light, there was still work to be done, and Hokuto wasn’t keen on being too tired for work. Plus, he had just unloaded on Subaru because of his mistakes, and he didn’t want to stray from his own advice, especially when he had been so angry. He pondered on how to start his response.</p><p> </p><p>&gt; Start with an apology<br/>&gt;&gt; Don’t start with an apology</p><p> </p><p>Hokuto wasn’t sure whether he was ready to forgive Subaru yet. So many things could have gone wrong for Trickstar just because he decided to stay up late one night. As much as he treasured their relationship, idol work was also important; he wasn’t willing to throw everything away after they had come this far. Hokuto wondered how Subaru felt about their relationship, and its relative importance to idol work, because if he placed the relationship too far above the other… it could spell disaster. </p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt; Talk about idol and relationship balance<br/>&gt; Don’t talk about idol and relationship balance</p><p> </p><p>Hokuto felt the need to at least say something short to Subaru about how to balance their relationship with their work life, as those two things needed to be as far apart from each other as possible. He had already told Subaru about keeping their relationship a secret from the rest of the world to avoid trouble, but considering that they had cut it so close in public, Hokuto wanted to talk about the dangers of prioritising their relationship too much. </p><p> </p><p>&gt; Agree to go stargazing<br/>&gt;&gt; Decline</p><p> </p><p>Hokuto had a lot more than his fair share of mini heart attacks in front of dozens of cameras, and he didn’t want to have to feel that same level of stress again. He was sure that Makoto and Mao must have been feeling the same towards Subaru, from the way they talked in an attempt to cover up Subaru’s mistakes, and he didn’t want to be another cause of problems. If this happened again, people could catch on and their reputation could be lowered if they failed to be their best at work. While good stargazing opportunities were few, he knew that they could come again in the future, and the same could be said for spending more time with Subaru, once their schedules were more free.</p><p>Wanting to go to sleep sooner, Hokuto hastily typed out a response. Tomorrow was going to be just as packed if not more packed than today, and he needed all the rest that he could get. He imagined that Subaru would also appreciate a faster reply, if he had enough energy left to wait for one. Hokuto fell asleep as his head hit the pillow.</p><p>On the other side of the phone, Subaru cried, a mountain of guilt and regret crushing him.</p>
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